I reached an extent of denial abt my hair that when i rised from bed this morning the first thing that faced me was a mirror, i looked at my reflection in quite a shock and burst into endless tears of uninvited regret...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiG-y-E6I0g
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A dream
I had a dream that i gave birth to a baby girl... and only when she was 2 yrs old or so that i realised she was named after me, my daughter and i carried the same name!
I was so furious wondering how such a thing could happen when i had a list of names prepared for that special person since i was fourteen!!!
And i also realised that it was too late to fix, coz the girl was almost two now and named Rana.
I was so furious wondering how such a thing could happen when i had a list of names prepared for that special person since i was fourteen!!!
And i also realised that it was too late to fix, coz the girl was almost two now and named Rana.
رائحة الشمس
رائحة الشمس
ما نحن - الرجال - إلا أطفال أمهاتنا. مهما كبرنا أو استطلنا تظل أمهاتنا حاملات أسرار لمعجزات نظل نرتجيها. ولقد كانت معجزة أمي أنها تخبئ بعضا من الشمس في ثيابنا المغسولة.
سأظل أتذكر أنها كانت تجمع الغسيل بعد جفافه عندما تبدأ الشمس رحلة هبوطها بعد العصر، وعلى الكنبة التي بركن الصالة ترتفع كومة الثياب النظيفة. وفي هذه الكومة كنت ألقي بنفسي لأغرق في رائحة الشمس، فلقد كانت الثياب النظيفة تلك تمنح أنفاسي رائحة لم تكن في وعيي غير رائحة الشمس راحت كومة الثياب عن كنبة الصالة وغابت إلى الأبد.
وكبرت أنا إلى حد أنه حتى لو ظلت الكومة ما كنت أستطيع أن ألقي بنفسي فيها.وكل ما أستطيعه الآن هو أن أوصي زوجتي بأن لا تجمع الغسيل المنشور إلا بعد العصر , وبزعم أنني أساعدها في جمع الغسيل ألتقط قطعة منه وأغرق وجهي فيها.
تضحك زوجتي قائلة: "كف عن الوسوسة"، تحسبني أتشمم الغسيل لأتيقن من نظافته، فهي لا تعرف أنني أبحث عن معجزة من كانت تخبئ بعضا من الشمس في ثيابنا أبحث عن عطر أمي.
قصة قصيرة لمحمد المخزنجي.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
In random order
The List
In random order
The list is a rough sketch that describes the man i would care to grow old with.
I have never imagined i could end up making a list of things i need in a man, although i have tried several times to do so, but my trials were all in vain.
Suddenly things have become clear to me... maybe because i was that close to that example of a man!
The list may seem too perfected; the list may contain many things i do not possess myself.
And because it is simply insane to wish for things you know you are not worthy of, i doubtlessly am working on BEING that person, for when he comes i will know that i am deserving of him.
The list is my guide... so i guess i will need my friends to tell me what are the things that i already possess from all the below. :)
o Funny
o Kind
o Patient
o Beautiful in my eyes
o Generous with his smiles
o With at least average intelligence or more
o Excited about life with a wide range of interests
o Ambitious
o Good at one thing- be it talent or career
o Willing to trust me and let me in before i trust him
o Able to talk me through things, take my hand and lead me gently (leader, provider and supporter)
o Able to give me advice when I need it, and listen when all I need is to be heard
o Supportive and encouraging
o Offers me the sense of security and completeness I need
o Brings out the best in me through clear communication and positive motivation
o Doesn’t care about cultural stereotypes or what people think
o Isn’t afraid to get a little crazy every now and then
o Generous.
o Dependable
o Does not have a bad temper and isn’t insecure about his manhood in such a way that he needs to constantly prove it
o Is okay asking me for help and lending me a hand when i need it
o It wud be nice if he has a good successful career- but isn’t essential
o Socially extroverted
o Can just fill a whole room with talk and laughter
o Doesn’t feel awkward or weirded out easily
o Feels comfortable expressing love and affection to me in front of family and friends without being too shy and conservative about it.
o It wud b nice if he’s a bit built...
In random order
The list is a rough sketch that describes the man i would care to grow old with.
I have never imagined i could end up making a list of things i need in a man, although i have tried several times to do so, but my trials were all in vain.
Suddenly things have become clear to me... maybe because i was that close to that example of a man!
The list may seem too perfected; the list may contain many things i do not possess myself.
And because it is simply insane to wish for things you know you are not worthy of, i doubtlessly am working on BEING that person, for when he comes i will know that i am deserving of him.
The list is my guide... so i guess i will need my friends to tell me what are the things that i already possess from all the below. :)
o Funny
o Kind
o Patient
o Beautiful in my eyes
o Generous with his smiles
o With at least average intelligence or more
o Excited about life with a wide range of interests
o Ambitious
o Good at one thing- be it talent or career
o Willing to trust me and let me in before i trust him
o Able to talk me through things, take my hand and lead me gently (leader, provider and supporter)
o Able to give me advice when I need it, and listen when all I need is to be heard
o Supportive and encouraging
o Offers me the sense of security and completeness I need
o Brings out the best in me through clear communication and positive motivation
o Doesn’t care about cultural stereotypes or what people think
o Isn’t afraid to get a little crazy every now and then
o Generous.
o Dependable
o Does not have a bad temper and isn’t insecure about his manhood in such a way that he needs to constantly prove it
o Is okay asking me for help and lending me a hand when i need it
o It wud be nice if he has a good successful career- but isn’t essential
o Socially extroverted
o Can just fill a whole room with talk and laughter
o Doesn’t feel awkward or weirded out easily
o Feels comfortable expressing love and affection to me in front of family and friends without being too shy and conservative about it.
o It wud b nice if he’s a bit built...
To be continued…
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Coco
Its 2:10am
I made my warm coco, preparing to go to bed.
Listening to Chopin prelude no 4.
I want to go to college tomorrow, i miss my pen and paper.
Waiting for the effect of warm milk to sink in so i can sleep easily, im in no need to think a lot before going to bed.
I went to my dentist today, the one that i think im beginning to develop a crush on him (prelude no 15 raindrop now), i just cant help it he uses his wicked charms on me throwing and asking comments and questions that i know for sure its no more than a doctor who likes complimenting his patients...
Although somewhere inside me hoped that it was for real, a part of me that i cannot deny, a part of me that i have to force into silence, a part of me that is so feminine...!
Im looking for somthing to wear on my cousins engagment day... i still have to look i hope i can find somthing that really looks nice on me and for a good price...
Am planning to go to Nagham masry's concert at rawabet isa :)
Good night blog spot...ohhh forgot to tell u that i named my bike "Sanabel" :)
I made my warm coco, preparing to go to bed.
Listening to Chopin prelude no 4.
I want to go to college tomorrow, i miss my pen and paper.
Waiting for the effect of warm milk to sink in so i can sleep easily, im in no need to think a lot before going to bed.
I went to my dentist today, the one that i think im beginning to develop a crush on him (prelude no 15 raindrop now), i just cant help it he uses his wicked charms on me throwing and asking comments and questions that i know for sure its no more than a doctor who likes complimenting his patients...
Although somewhere inside me hoped that it was for real, a part of me that i cannot deny, a part of me that i have to force into silence, a part of me that is so feminine...!
Im looking for somthing to wear on my cousins engagment day... i still have to look i hope i can find somthing that really looks nice on me and for a good price...
Am planning to go to Nagham masry's concert at rawabet isa :)
Good night blog spot...ohhh forgot to tell u that i named my bike "Sanabel" :)
Friday, October 2, 2009
The trick is to...
Today im going to make the pepper fillet i was supposed to prepare yesterday but didn’t coz Metro had no fillet...
Yesterday on my way back from metro empty handed shereen called me and told me to get ready as fast as i can coz she will be picking me up and taking me to Egypt Vs. Italy match, so i went home gave dad the bad news that there was no fillet promised him i'll make it up to him tomorrow bought him gateau from tortina and told him that i was hitting the road and heading to the stadium.
In the car and on our way shereen noted that we were going to the match ticketless, and gave us the "heeeey guys come on everything will be just fine, were going to get there find tickets enter so easily, find perfect seats enjoy the match and WIN!" in such a relaxed laid back tone, we arrived, we found a nice place to park we entered for the price of one 30 pound ticket, sat in a good spot bought "masr" T-shirts, and WON the match. It happens that everything shereen said actually did happen! (The trick is to BELIEVE!)
We went back to Maadi ate at dido’s st9 all of us with a headache and a killing need to sleep.
Arrived home by 2 :S
To find dad downstairs cleaning his motorcycle :)
Through the whole post match phase all i could think of is "When the Cindbind and the Big MO know that i went to that match without them for free and our team won an extraordinary 4/2, it’s gonna get ugly :S )
But if it’s of any remorse they didn’t play that good anyway... :/
Have to go feed my cats and buy the fillet now... planning on cycling at night.
hmmmm isn't the weather just great these days :)
(The trick is to Breath)
And Hassan if your reading this i miss u!
(The trick is to set a date for us to meet) although u can really get on my nerves so easily lately and u can somtimes be a pain in the... bs ur still good guy!
w shereen kant betes2al 3aliek!
Yesterday on my way back from metro empty handed shereen called me and told me to get ready as fast as i can coz she will be picking me up and taking me to Egypt Vs. Italy match, so i went home gave dad the bad news that there was no fillet promised him i'll make it up to him tomorrow bought him gateau from tortina and told him that i was hitting the road and heading to the stadium.
In the car and on our way shereen noted that we were going to the match ticketless, and gave us the "heeeey guys come on everything will be just fine, were going to get there find tickets enter so easily, find perfect seats enjoy the match and WIN!" in such a relaxed laid back tone, we arrived, we found a nice place to park we entered for the price of one 30 pound ticket, sat in a good spot bought "masr" T-shirts, and WON the match. It happens that everything shereen said actually did happen! (The trick is to BELIEVE!)
We went back to Maadi ate at dido’s st9 all of us with a headache and a killing need to sleep.
Arrived home by 2 :S
To find dad downstairs cleaning his motorcycle :)
Through the whole post match phase all i could think of is "When the Cindbind and the Big MO know that i went to that match without them for free and our team won an extraordinary 4/2, it’s gonna get ugly :S )
But if it’s of any remorse they didn’t play that good anyway... :/
Have to go feed my cats and buy the fillet now... planning on cycling at night.
hmmmm isn't the weather just great these days :)
(The trick is to Breath)
And Hassan if your reading this i miss u!
(The trick is to set a date for us to meet) although u can really get on my nerves so easily lately and u can somtimes be a pain in the... bs ur still good guy!
w shereen kant betes2al 3aliek!
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