Awakening

Laying in bed sleepless... the window is wide open.. the air is so cool.. the silence is so strong that somehow its deafening.

Its a full moon tonight, a silver spell splashed into the room filling it with magic and charm..., bed.. floor.. and walls they've all been blessed by the silver touch of grace.

The wind is strong, i can hear it finding its way to my big old berry tree, caressing her leaves so softly... giving her voice, allowing her to speak... Its amazing how her first words sound so much like the sea, you cant really tell the difference... :)

Colors in the sky vary with every tick the clock makes... pitch black.. Navy blue.. dark bluish purple.. greyish purple.. light blue... Blue.

Laying there a small tweet is heard coming from an awakening bird out there in the vast space... announcing the uninvited break of dawn.
i haven't had my sleep yet, but what can i do, the clock will never stop ticking, the world will never stop spining, neither should i stop living.
Life goes on...
its a new day, a new chance, a new clean start...

That fact alone, would now allow me the sleep i've been striving for the whole night... i close my eyes, surrender and let myself sink away...

The yellow house.

Theres a knock on my bedroom door.. its my uncle.."Rana, u forgot to lock the door again..".

that sense in the air, the sense that u are always threatened, always trying to lock doors behind you, always alert and aware, always wide pupiled...

That act of locking doors, at that particular moment, represented locking life out...

The yellow house. once was a house full of life and passion, but as souls pass away they suck along the life out of the old walls...

Breathing is not enough proof that you are alive, it does not mean that ur soul is setteled peacefully in ur flesh between ur ribs in ur mind and heart...

A body with no soul, is corpse. And corpse are nothing more than just remains.

It was here... my first embrace :)

when a place allows you to open your heart.. drop it all there knowing it is safe and sound.. unjudged, then it shouldn't be treated as some empty space, it should be appreciated, because a connection has been born and Connection = obligation, Obligation = loyalty, Loyalty= i like you just the way you are!

i liked "wordpress", so fancy and all... but i first set foot here... its hard to leave now, it feels like the right thing to do, when all my friends are switching to the fancy good looking "wordpress"...

wal salam khairo khitam.

The same surface

Yesterday i saw my reflection on shady abdelsalam's mirror, a red rope kept me away but yet it felt like i was so close, i gave my self the time and freedom to stand there and gaze at myself, and for a moment i got the feeling that it was no longer me looking at myself, it was someone else. the fact that i was looking at/ into/ through shady abdelsalam's mirror hit me, the fact that the same mirror reflecting my face now had reflected his too... at that very private split second moment his phantom met mine in that small mirror surrounded with the delicate beautiful frame!

2300...

Layed back by the wall, people crushing my feet, bodies rubbing on mine, reckless words said, loud laughters, high cheers, cleche way of expressing euphoria (somtimes over expressive), agressive body language.
Many faces with different lines... there is no longer air, only the breath of the 2300 crowed, warm in an unsoothing way... breath, perfume, sweat, cigarettes.
the big screen on my right the big billboards on my left and the music everywhere, listening, standing still, doubting the fact that there might be somthing wrong with my nerveous system.. i am not responding to the music like every one else... my body is still, my smile is out to buy wara2 el bosta, my ears r with the music, my eyes are all around the place watching everyone... studying there every move, catching a glance from the screen on my right, another to the big lit billboards at my left, and a desperate one on the stage, straight forward...
i think i wasnt such a fun company to be with today, but i did enjoy the music... and hated the crowed!

Sky

Today i decided to wear my favourite shade of blue, put the most comfortable pair of shoes on and let my hair down... breath deep and seal it with a smile, today it might rain... i shud be there at its welcome, the sky is covered with clouds, they traveled all the way from the mediteranian sharing themselves with all the people under, uniting us... after all, we all stand under the same sky!

Raise the curtains

Dont fear the unwelcomed, dont fear the unknown, dont suspect and assume.
Just face it, question it, fight it or even raise ur white flag, but never run away or pull down the curtain between u and the other anonymous carrying a familier name, a name you've always known... u never know, maybe things are different this time, give it a chance open ur doors and raise ur curtains, give ur self the hope, and granted to others.
Stop charging the future guilty, when all it did was follow ur painful past...
Today, the verdict is innocent, and now ur free to go!

One nights dream

As i slide down the milky way and land upon every star, i stand head up high and raise my silent flag, i can feel the deafining silence killing me from deep inside...But what shall i do but pray with a humble voice and a lonely tear, a soul full of faith and a heart full of fear...Will i find a reply? will i meet a messanger? the truth is hiding up high waiting for a new challenger... I can see them twinkle as i float away, i can see them there ready to pray...Where am i heading? up high or deep down.. where ami heading? to the land of heaven on earth or the land of heaven up high...Mother im lost between the seven skies... forgive me so i can survive..forgive me so i can survive.

Far from the wedding crowed

As i speak softly with the wind and smell the beautiful scent of humid wood, i hear the twinkling sounds of condensed mist dropping on crystal water... and far away the sound of a piano playing at the horizon, as i dream away and remember the beautiful days i spent with him... i remember me sitting far from the wedding crowed and music playing into my ears, his firm voice sweetly interrupts, i turn around and look at his eyes while he speaks, i do not answer and turn back again....It has just rained.. leaves are wet.. They seem like glinting golden stars when sunlight hit there wet surface.. its the prettiest glitter u could ever see...I walk away heading to the apple tree i remember Adam and eves story of glory as i feel my bare feet crushing the yellow poor leaves underneath...i can see the sweet petals from the forlorn roses, flying.. rising up to me from behind the high yellow hedge.. I smile at there appearance, just the same as i smile at sunrise.. And now they are ready to land on a beautiful white silk dress of a beautiful bride and land on the shoulders of a great groom..."till we meet again heavenly petals" i speak to my self..i walk away heading to the southern falls.. wash my self with my 3rd creator.. water, pure land water, forgetting everything, i splash my face starting from my chin rising up towards my forehead sinking down along my hair.. the air hits my soaking face stabilizing the temp. surrounding my body... now im recharged, and without any introductions i start sprinting all over the fields, so glad, so happy, so SATISFIED!

Winter

today i could feel winter in the air, that same relaxing smell the cool air, winter is my season i belong there, the only thing i like abt summer is when i start missing winter, then autumn comes and the next thing u know... winter breaks!
this is when i start taking a good deep breath this is when i find myself, and this is when all the inspiration starts and all the new beginnings take place!

i wonder why most people wait till summer to plan for weddings and celebrations?!

if i were out to describe winter id say its when u start enjoying ur warm coffee, take long walks in the early morning, feel the remains of summer crushing under ur feet, its when all shades of yellow brown and little green dominate natures palette... its when u don't mind the sun, and when u start finding the feeling of the warm ray caressing ur freezing skin so soothing. when u wear a bunch of soft cuddly clothes, when u go to bed as if ur throwing ur self into a swimming pool and after just mins everything becomes all nice and warm, and u start enjoying ur fat soft heavy cover... (and thank god for having the "house" with roof and windows and the "bed" with the "heavy warm cover"... such a taken for granted luxury.)

i realized the past few days of the necessity of planning, and how it helps u relax and feel some how secure, also helps not regretting the hours that pass without really taking advantage of, the hours that pass where u don't live the moment, the hours that pass uncherished!!

*Winter officialy starts on the 22nd of December*