I'm just the rough old pullover, that kept u warm one day...
and at the first stain, u decided to let go of it, and look for a new one!
letting go is a healthy decision to make, yet hard!
left alone stained i am... waiting to end up in a charity bag, a recycle container or on the shoulders of a cold and homeless man!
i might even end up on a rope under the sun wet fresh and stainless!
:)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
فى ظروف غامضة.. إختفى الفستان!
كنت معدية من قدام فترينة مضلمة ولمحت فستان على منيكان... الفستان كان حلو بس المنيكان كانت حامل!
الفستان بقى للحوامل أو للأفراح والليالي الملاح.
راح فين الفستان... الطويل والقصير, البليسيه والإيفازيه, الدنتيل والكتان... فين الجاكيت الكروشيه!
فستان جميل بألوان باستيل, منقط مخطط أو حتة كارو, وحشنى الفسنان...
إختفاء الفستان هو دليل على إختفاء إحساسنا بأنوثتنا...
منظر البودجي وتحتشي الكارينا بقى قبيح!!! و جوب جينز مجرجرا فالأرض و مقرفة!!!
إيه ده! أنا زى مأكون نسيت إنى أنثى... ما طبعا لازم أنسى و أنا كل يوم في إحتكاك مستمر مع أشكال و ألوان من ال"رجالة" ال تقريبا إنقرضه زيك يا فستان... عملين زى الكلاب الصعرانة, و طبعا فى حال زي ده البنت مننا لو إتعملت بأنوثة تبقى فتحت على نفسها أوسع أبوابك يا جهنم!
يعنى أنا بقيت ألاحظ إن أى بنت لما تروح تشترى تذكرة مترو بتكشر و قال إيه جد و مركزة... فى حين إن الإبتسامه صدقة, لكن للأسف إحنا جرى العرف عندنا إن البنت التمشى زى العسكرى والشاويش تبقى هى دى البنت الكويسة المئدبة ال بميت راجل!!!
مين الله يجازيه القال إن البنت لازم تبقى بميت راجل.. مين؟!!
مبدأ قضى على الإبتسامة و أدى إلى إختفاء الفستان...
الفستان بقى للحوامل أو للأفراح والليالي الملاح.
راح فين الفستان... الطويل والقصير, البليسيه والإيفازيه, الدنتيل والكتان... فين الجاكيت الكروشيه!
فستان جميل بألوان باستيل, منقط مخطط أو حتة كارو, وحشنى الفسنان...
إختفاء الفستان هو دليل على إختفاء إحساسنا بأنوثتنا...
منظر البودجي وتحتشي الكارينا بقى قبيح!!! و جوب جينز مجرجرا فالأرض و مقرفة!!!
إيه ده! أنا زى مأكون نسيت إنى أنثى... ما طبعا لازم أنسى و أنا كل يوم في إحتكاك مستمر مع أشكال و ألوان من ال"رجالة" ال تقريبا إنقرضه زيك يا فستان... عملين زى الكلاب الصعرانة, و طبعا فى حال زي ده البنت مننا لو إتعملت بأنوثة تبقى فتحت على نفسها أوسع أبوابك يا جهنم!
يعنى أنا بقيت ألاحظ إن أى بنت لما تروح تشترى تذكرة مترو بتكشر و قال إيه جد و مركزة... فى حين إن الإبتسامه صدقة, لكن للأسف إحنا جرى العرف عندنا إن البنت التمشى زى العسكرى والشاويش تبقى هى دى البنت الكويسة المئدبة ال بميت راجل!!!
مين الله يجازيه القال إن البنت لازم تبقى بميت راجل.. مين؟!!
مبدأ قضى على الإبتسامة و أدى إلى إختفاء الفستان...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The big bike day :)
Today my dad bought me a new bike, a RED peugeot bike:))), we went riding for abt an hour and a half it was really nice...
we went back home expecting a bigger bike.. a motor bike :))
"el 3arousa" arrived at 1:30am we paid the guy and drove till 4 am :))
my god that was one hell of a day!
although it was best for me and my future to stay at home and study... but oh my god that is a one moment i couldnt hv missed!
i can catch up on my studying better after enjoying that one in a million year moment, (my first time to ride a motorcycle and my fathers first time too, since he was 13!)
the roads were very tempting to keep us going so unbelivably empty, the weather was nice and chilly and every time we'd decide to go back home we'd go "errrmmm.. naaah lets ride a little bit more!" :) we decided to go cilantro st 9 to celebrate, midnight ppl look different and much more intresting there... i saw the vocalist in cairokee i dont knw his name but he was there man!! oo oooo oooooo at that very minute i remembered cindy and that if she was there with me she wudve attempted to go and say hi and maybe take a picture with him :)))
Today is the BIG BIKE day :)
we went back home expecting a bigger bike.. a motor bike :))
"el 3arousa" arrived at 1:30am we paid the guy and drove till 4 am :))
my god that was one hell of a day!
although it was best for me and my future to stay at home and study... but oh my god that is a one moment i couldnt hv missed!
i can catch up on my studying better after enjoying that one in a million year moment, (my first time to ride a motorcycle and my fathers first time too, since he was 13!)
the roads were very tempting to keep us going so unbelivably empty, the weather was nice and chilly and every time we'd decide to go back home we'd go "errrmmm.. naaah lets ride a little bit more!" :) we decided to go cilantro st 9 to celebrate, midnight ppl look different and much more intresting there... i saw the vocalist in cairokee i dont knw his name but he was there man!! oo oooo oooooo at that very minute i remembered cindy and that if she was there with me she wudve attempted to go and say hi and maybe take a picture with him :)))
Today is the BIG BIKE day :)
محمود درويش
و أريد شيئا واحدا لاغير.. شيئا واحدا: موتا بسيطا هادئا.. فى مثل هذا اليوم.. فى الطرف الخفى من الزنابق.. قد يعوضنى كثيرا أو قليلا عن حياة كنت أحصيها.. دقائق أو رحيلا.. و أريد موتا فى الحديقة ليس أكثر أو أقل...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Five dozen's of red Carnations!
Today at about 2:45 and after attending my first ever "ossos tasmeem lecture", i decided i didn’t want to go straight home...
i called a couple of friends but they weren’t available.
i remembered that earlier i glanced a young boy selling really pretty flowers near college so i thought of buying some for Mimi, when i called cindbind she didn’t know when she was finishing... so i thought ok.. then i'll buy them for Mom, she loves flowers.
i bought her 5 dozens of red Carnations, and headed home.
Got there after going through ugly traffic, horrible heat and suffocating car fumes.
Mom was sleeping when i got home, so i fixed the flowers, looked for vases and put the flowers in, they were too many and all i could find was 2 vases, my dad was waiting for me, we were having lunch together, i was in a hurry, so i left the remaining flowers where they were so ma could find them an extra vase.. i knew there was an extra one but i just couldn’t find it...
i woke her up before i get going and then left, she told me to go by taxi and not take the car, why i don’t know, i mean i know shes not going to use it.. but anyway!,
on my way to dads my phone rang, it was mom :) yeh i smiled, i imagined that she got up saw the flowers liked them and was calling to tell me that she liked them.. they smelled nice.. anything.. .
and i was like ahh i can’t answer in the taxi coz i know i might sound weird when am excited, but i thought i don’t wanna mess the moment, so i answered...
yeh i answered!
she was shouting/yelling i couldn’t understand a thing she said...
she was like wut r these flowers?
wut r those flowers doing in the kitchen?
wut am i supposed to do with them?
And she kept going on and on…
And all am thinking of was "this cannot be real!".
So i hung up coz i couldn’t deal with the situation in front of the driver and called her when i got off, entered dads place, she asked to talk to him, and told him that he should take me to live with him permanently!!!
He hung up, then asked "wut happened?"
i said "i bought her flowers!".
But at the end of the day... i bought my mom flowers!
i learned that when u do something, u shouldn’t ever expect/imagine reactions.
Do good for the sake of doing good.. Its possibly the only action that requires the LEAST amount of sacrifice.
And in the middle of the day at abt 4pm, i wanted a friend to know that just today i started to feel truly happy for him.. sincere and from the heart!
i called a couple of friends but they weren’t available.
i remembered that earlier i glanced a young boy selling really pretty flowers near college so i thought of buying some for Mimi, when i called cindbind she didn’t know when she was finishing... so i thought ok.. then i'll buy them for Mom, she loves flowers.
i bought her 5 dozens of red Carnations, and headed home.
Got there after going through ugly traffic, horrible heat and suffocating car fumes.
Mom was sleeping when i got home, so i fixed the flowers, looked for vases and put the flowers in, they were too many and all i could find was 2 vases, my dad was waiting for me, we were having lunch together, i was in a hurry, so i left the remaining flowers where they were so ma could find them an extra vase.. i knew there was an extra one but i just couldn’t find it...
i woke her up before i get going and then left, she told me to go by taxi and not take the car, why i don’t know, i mean i know shes not going to use it.. but anyway!,
on my way to dads my phone rang, it was mom :) yeh i smiled, i imagined that she got up saw the flowers liked them and was calling to tell me that she liked them.. they smelled nice.. anything.. .
and i was like ahh i can’t answer in the taxi coz i know i might sound weird when am excited, but i thought i don’t wanna mess the moment, so i answered...
yeh i answered!
she was shouting/yelling i couldn’t understand a thing she said...
she was like wut r these flowers?
wut r those flowers doing in the kitchen?
wut am i supposed to do with them?
And she kept going on and on…
And all am thinking of was "this cannot be real!".
So i hung up coz i couldn’t deal with the situation in front of the driver and called her when i got off, entered dads place, she asked to talk to him, and told him that he should take me to live with him permanently!!!
He hung up, then asked "wut happened?"
i said "i bought her flowers!".
But at the end of the day... i bought my mom flowers!
i learned that when u do something, u shouldn’t ever expect/imagine reactions.
Do good for the sake of doing good.. Its possibly the only action that requires the LEAST amount of sacrifice.
And in the middle of the day at abt 4pm, i wanted a friend to know that just today i started to feel truly happy for him.. sincere and from the heart!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Everything...
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
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