its 2:32am and i started playing alf leila w leila the one that plays on radio, so as to help me go to sleep, my pa is out he hasnt returned yet he went with his motorbike which makes me more worried...
salama wel magharba.
i have work tomorrow i have to frekin go!
my hair look horible and i gained weight, im so selfconcious abt my self right now and i hate it!
im willing to go for my 100 km ride next friday!
im must sleep now :)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
This or that, that or this!
A state of overmastering anxiety
A state of apprehension and antisepation
A state of distress.
Run away or run forward
run into or run out of
stay on the safe side or grant my self an new experience.
A state of apprehension and antisepation
A state of distress.
Run away or run forward
run into or run out of
stay on the safe side or grant my self an new experience.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Whirlpool
I dont know.. i just felt like passing by and saying hi, i miss it here..
i have nothing to say, i hate it when i have nothing to say..
it makes me feel like am suffering from alzhimer,
i know that things caught my attention today others made me smile others brought wonderful thoughts and ideas to my mind... but whats the use of them if they're constantly forgotten?!
i started to get used to my short hair.. now i want it shorter.. a constant need of change.. is that good or bad, is it a sign that somthing is missing or is it perfectly normal..
one thing abt me, is that i never know if things that happen around me or even things i do, are wrong or right, ethicaly acceptable or not, i always need to double check with ppl that seem to find there way through the many man made rules and regulations!
i usually sleep with two pillows one i lay my head on and the other i fill in the emptyness with. (my extra pillow is now temporarly taken)
i remember them mentioning in the book "the secret" somthing abt realising what u want and acting as if its already there, and they gave an example abt a woman who was waiting for the man of her dreams to come along, but he never did, then she realised that she herself wasnt ready or wasnt adapting her self with the fact that there is another somone.
So then she started making room for him in her closet and made sure there was space for his car in her garage and even slept on one side of the bed :) so back to my pillows i discoverd that i instictivly use my pillow to remind me that there will be somone here instead of my all so kind and friendly pillow... i dont know what wud i've done with out it, becuase it not only fills physical emptyness but also emotional... i find it hard for me to sleep single pillowed now!
So you either better get me an extra pillow or get me a man!
ive been randomly casualy offered to be pampered... ohhh my god how i pitty myself at times...
i just need to learn to swim away from the whirlpool,
amazingly all am doing now is swimming towards it!
i have nothing to say, i hate it when i have nothing to say..
it makes me feel like am suffering from alzhimer,
i know that things caught my attention today others made me smile others brought wonderful thoughts and ideas to my mind... but whats the use of them if they're constantly forgotten?!
i started to get used to my short hair.. now i want it shorter.. a constant need of change.. is that good or bad, is it a sign that somthing is missing or is it perfectly normal..
one thing abt me, is that i never know if things that happen around me or even things i do, are wrong or right, ethicaly acceptable or not, i always need to double check with ppl that seem to find there way through the many man made rules and regulations!
i usually sleep with two pillows one i lay my head on and the other i fill in the emptyness with. (my extra pillow is now temporarly taken)
i remember them mentioning in the book "the secret" somthing abt realising what u want and acting as if its already there, and they gave an example abt a woman who was waiting for the man of her dreams to come along, but he never did, then she realised that she herself wasnt ready or wasnt adapting her self with the fact that there is another somone.
So then she started making room for him in her closet and made sure there was space for his car in her garage and even slept on one side of the bed :) so back to my pillows i discoverd that i instictivly use my pillow to remind me that there will be somone here instead of my all so kind and friendly pillow... i dont know what wud i've done with out it, becuase it not only fills physical emptyness but also emotional... i find it hard for me to sleep single pillowed now!
So you either better get me an extra pillow or get me a man!
ive been randomly casualy offered to be pampered... ohhh my god how i pitty myself at times...
i just need to learn to swim away from the whirlpool,
amazingly all am doing now is swimming towards it!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Stainless
I'm just the rough old pullover, that kept u warm one day...
and at the first stain, u decided to let go of it, and look for a new one!
letting go is a healthy decision to make, yet hard!
left alone stained i am... waiting to end up in a charity bag, a recycle container or on the shoulders of a cold and homeless man!
i might even end up on a rope under the sun wet fresh and stainless!
:)
and at the first stain, u decided to let go of it, and look for a new one!
letting go is a healthy decision to make, yet hard!
left alone stained i am... waiting to end up in a charity bag, a recycle container or on the shoulders of a cold and homeless man!
i might even end up on a rope under the sun wet fresh and stainless!
:)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
فى ظروف غامضة.. إختفى الفستان!
كنت معدية من قدام فترينة مضلمة ولمحت فستان على منيكان... الفستان كان حلو بس المنيكان كانت حامل!
الفستان بقى للحوامل أو للأفراح والليالي الملاح.
راح فين الفستان... الطويل والقصير, البليسيه والإيفازيه, الدنتيل والكتان... فين الجاكيت الكروشيه!
فستان جميل بألوان باستيل, منقط مخطط أو حتة كارو, وحشنى الفسنان...
إختفاء الفستان هو دليل على إختفاء إحساسنا بأنوثتنا...
منظر البودجي وتحتشي الكارينا بقى قبيح!!! و جوب جينز مجرجرا فالأرض و مقرفة!!!
إيه ده! أنا زى مأكون نسيت إنى أنثى... ما طبعا لازم أنسى و أنا كل يوم في إحتكاك مستمر مع أشكال و ألوان من ال"رجالة" ال تقريبا إنقرضه زيك يا فستان... عملين زى الكلاب الصعرانة, و طبعا فى حال زي ده البنت مننا لو إتعملت بأنوثة تبقى فتحت على نفسها أوسع أبوابك يا جهنم!
يعنى أنا بقيت ألاحظ إن أى بنت لما تروح تشترى تذكرة مترو بتكشر و قال إيه جد و مركزة... فى حين إن الإبتسامه صدقة, لكن للأسف إحنا جرى العرف عندنا إن البنت التمشى زى العسكرى والشاويش تبقى هى دى البنت الكويسة المئدبة ال بميت راجل!!!
مين الله يجازيه القال إن البنت لازم تبقى بميت راجل.. مين؟!!
مبدأ قضى على الإبتسامة و أدى إلى إختفاء الفستان...
الفستان بقى للحوامل أو للأفراح والليالي الملاح.
راح فين الفستان... الطويل والقصير, البليسيه والإيفازيه, الدنتيل والكتان... فين الجاكيت الكروشيه!
فستان جميل بألوان باستيل, منقط مخطط أو حتة كارو, وحشنى الفسنان...
إختفاء الفستان هو دليل على إختفاء إحساسنا بأنوثتنا...
منظر البودجي وتحتشي الكارينا بقى قبيح!!! و جوب جينز مجرجرا فالأرض و مقرفة!!!
إيه ده! أنا زى مأكون نسيت إنى أنثى... ما طبعا لازم أنسى و أنا كل يوم في إحتكاك مستمر مع أشكال و ألوان من ال"رجالة" ال تقريبا إنقرضه زيك يا فستان... عملين زى الكلاب الصعرانة, و طبعا فى حال زي ده البنت مننا لو إتعملت بأنوثة تبقى فتحت على نفسها أوسع أبوابك يا جهنم!
يعنى أنا بقيت ألاحظ إن أى بنت لما تروح تشترى تذكرة مترو بتكشر و قال إيه جد و مركزة... فى حين إن الإبتسامه صدقة, لكن للأسف إحنا جرى العرف عندنا إن البنت التمشى زى العسكرى والشاويش تبقى هى دى البنت الكويسة المئدبة ال بميت راجل!!!
مين الله يجازيه القال إن البنت لازم تبقى بميت راجل.. مين؟!!
مبدأ قضى على الإبتسامة و أدى إلى إختفاء الفستان...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The big bike day :)
Today my dad bought me a new bike, a RED peugeot bike:))), we went riding for abt an hour and a half it was really nice...
we went back home expecting a bigger bike.. a motor bike :))
"el 3arousa" arrived at 1:30am we paid the guy and drove till 4 am :))
my god that was one hell of a day!
although it was best for me and my future to stay at home and study... but oh my god that is a one moment i couldnt hv missed!
i can catch up on my studying better after enjoying that one in a million year moment, (my first time to ride a motorcycle and my fathers first time too, since he was 13!)
the roads were very tempting to keep us going so unbelivably empty, the weather was nice and chilly and every time we'd decide to go back home we'd go "errrmmm.. naaah lets ride a little bit more!" :) we decided to go cilantro st 9 to celebrate, midnight ppl look different and much more intresting there... i saw the vocalist in cairokee i dont knw his name but he was there man!! oo oooo oooooo at that very minute i remembered cindy and that if she was there with me she wudve attempted to go and say hi and maybe take a picture with him :)))
Today is the BIG BIKE day :)
we went back home expecting a bigger bike.. a motor bike :))
"el 3arousa" arrived at 1:30am we paid the guy and drove till 4 am :))
my god that was one hell of a day!
although it was best for me and my future to stay at home and study... but oh my god that is a one moment i couldnt hv missed!
i can catch up on my studying better after enjoying that one in a million year moment, (my first time to ride a motorcycle and my fathers first time too, since he was 13!)
the roads were very tempting to keep us going so unbelivably empty, the weather was nice and chilly and every time we'd decide to go back home we'd go "errrmmm.. naaah lets ride a little bit more!" :) we decided to go cilantro st 9 to celebrate, midnight ppl look different and much more intresting there... i saw the vocalist in cairokee i dont knw his name but he was there man!! oo oooo oooooo at that very minute i remembered cindy and that if she was there with me she wudve attempted to go and say hi and maybe take a picture with him :)))
Today is the BIG BIKE day :)
محمود درويش
و أريد شيئا واحدا لاغير.. شيئا واحدا: موتا بسيطا هادئا.. فى مثل هذا اليوم.. فى الطرف الخفى من الزنابق.. قد يعوضنى كثيرا أو قليلا عن حياة كنت أحصيها.. دقائق أو رحيلا.. و أريد موتا فى الحديقة ليس أكثر أو أقل...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
