Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Five dozen's of red Carnations!
Today at about 2:45 and after attending my first ever "ossos tasmeem lecture", i decided i didn’t want to go straight home...
i called a couple of friends but they weren’t available.
i remembered that earlier i glanced a young boy selling really pretty flowers near college so i thought of buying some for Mimi, when i called cindbind she didn’t know when she was finishing... so i thought ok.. then i'll buy them for Mom, she loves flowers.
i bought her 5 dozens of red Carnations, and headed home.
Got there after going through ugly traffic, horrible heat and suffocating car fumes.
Mom was sleeping when i got home, so i fixed the flowers, looked for vases and put the flowers in, they were too many and all i could find was 2 vases, my dad was waiting for me, we were having lunch together, i was in a hurry, so i left the remaining flowers where they were so ma could find them an extra vase.. i knew there was an extra one but i just couldn’t find it...
i woke her up before i get going and then left, she told me to go by taxi and not take the car, why i don’t know, i mean i know shes not going to use it.. but anyway!,
on my way to dads my phone rang, it was mom :) yeh i smiled, i imagined that she got up saw the flowers liked them and was calling to tell me that she liked them.. they smelled nice.. anything.. .
and i was like ahh i can’t answer in the taxi coz i know i might sound weird when am excited, but i thought i don’t wanna mess the moment, so i answered...
yeh i answered!
she was shouting/yelling i couldn’t understand a thing she said...
she was like wut r these flowers?
wut r those flowers doing in the kitchen?
wut am i supposed to do with them?
And she kept going on and on…
And all am thinking of was "this cannot be real!".
So i hung up coz i couldn’t deal with the situation in front of the driver and called her when i got off, entered dads place, she asked to talk to him, and told him that he should take me to live with him permanently!!!
He hung up, then asked "wut happened?"
i said "i bought her flowers!".
But at the end of the day... i bought my mom flowers!
i learned that when u do something, u shouldn’t ever expect/imagine reactions.
Do good for the sake of doing good.. Its possibly the only action that requires the LEAST amount of sacrifice.
And in the middle of the day at abt 4pm, i wanted a friend to know that just today i started to feel truly happy for him.. sincere and from the heart!
i called a couple of friends but they weren’t available.
i remembered that earlier i glanced a young boy selling really pretty flowers near college so i thought of buying some for Mimi, when i called cindbind she didn’t know when she was finishing... so i thought ok.. then i'll buy them for Mom, she loves flowers.
i bought her 5 dozens of red Carnations, and headed home.
Got there after going through ugly traffic, horrible heat and suffocating car fumes.
Mom was sleeping when i got home, so i fixed the flowers, looked for vases and put the flowers in, they were too many and all i could find was 2 vases, my dad was waiting for me, we were having lunch together, i was in a hurry, so i left the remaining flowers where they were so ma could find them an extra vase.. i knew there was an extra one but i just couldn’t find it...
i woke her up before i get going and then left, she told me to go by taxi and not take the car, why i don’t know, i mean i know shes not going to use it.. but anyway!,
on my way to dads my phone rang, it was mom :) yeh i smiled, i imagined that she got up saw the flowers liked them and was calling to tell me that she liked them.. they smelled nice.. anything.. .
and i was like ahh i can’t answer in the taxi coz i know i might sound weird when am excited, but i thought i don’t wanna mess the moment, so i answered...
yeh i answered!
she was shouting/yelling i couldn’t understand a thing she said...
she was like wut r these flowers?
wut r those flowers doing in the kitchen?
wut am i supposed to do with them?
And she kept going on and on…
And all am thinking of was "this cannot be real!".
So i hung up coz i couldn’t deal with the situation in front of the driver and called her when i got off, entered dads place, she asked to talk to him, and told him that he should take me to live with him permanently!!!
He hung up, then asked "wut happened?"
i said "i bought her flowers!".
But at the end of the day... i bought my mom flowers!
i learned that when u do something, u shouldn’t ever expect/imagine reactions.
Do good for the sake of doing good.. Its possibly the only action that requires the LEAST amount of sacrifice.
And in the middle of the day at abt 4pm, i wanted a friend to know that just today i started to feel truly happy for him.. sincere and from the heart!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Everything...
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Pollen grains
At start it floats lightly in the air on a warm sunny morning...
the air blows stronger, and breaks her into tiny little grains...
each grain travels farther than the other, and in a moment they become estranged, each landing on far brown soil... awaiting a stormy cloud patiently.
Days and nights have shadowed on them...
On one particular moonless night, a strike of lightning and thunder storms, announcing that soon the dry soil is to be blessed.
Thunder rain storms and wind, yet the grains are bearing, they have faith in what is to come next…
The sun rises one early morning, and there between the muddy brown soil a pinch of fresh green .
and on another rising, those once tiny pinches of green, grew to become big tall trees with long branches reaching out to one another each from a separate trunk…
Many trunks, once belonged to one pollen, once separated… are now once again united.
I wish we were as patient and faithful as pollen grains.
Pollen grains.
At first, so attached.
They separate.
Wait and take their time.
Go through storms.
Still connected although so apart.
The return is slow but assured.
And at last they unite, but in a much greater form than when they first started.
A stronger unbreakable ever giving union!
the air blows stronger, and breaks her into tiny little grains...
each grain travels farther than the other, and in a moment they become estranged, each landing on far brown soil... awaiting a stormy cloud patiently.
Days and nights have shadowed on them...
On one particular moonless night, a strike of lightning and thunder storms, announcing that soon the dry soil is to be blessed.
Thunder rain storms and wind, yet the grains are bearing, they have faith in what is to come next…
The sun rises one early morning, and there between the muddy brown soil a pinch of fresh green .
and on another rising, those once tiny pinches of green, grew to become big tall trees with long branches reaching out to one another each from a separate trunk…
Many trunks, once belonged to one pollen, once separated… are now once again united.
I wish we were as patient and faithful as pollen grains.
Pollen grains.
At first, so attached.
They separate.
Wait and take their time.
Go through storms.
Still connected although so apart.
The return is slow but assured.
And at last they unite, but in a much greater form than when they first started.
A stronger unbreakable ever giving union!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Chicken
I hate the new big humongous billboards in maadi, it gave maadi a very commercial feel, maadi is supposed to be a unique quite neighborhood, but since el Nasr st was created things became very different...
I mean, I remember the days where, for u to actually find a place where u can drink a good cup of cappuccino there was only one place for that.. "Winchell’s" near midan el ma7tta, it was the best and only place in maadi that serves coffee, and I remember they had gr8 carrot cakes as well, I can still remember their taste!
and for u to get there it was never a big deal. for u to get anywhere in maadi was never a big deal...!
sometimes I just curse the pendulum, it never stops it just keeps on moving, on and on counting, creating past u will long for, and an unapprehended future...
when I come to look back at history from the old days till this very moment, I just feel that things r meant to get worst by time.
it’s like there is something that links time with bad circumstances, like there directly proportional or something... I don’t know... im just MAD, mad at the fact that things never stay the way they are, they have to get worst, it’s like an inevitable fact you cannot escape!
Right now at this very moment I feel that my home has been raped, my memories have been slashed into pieces and nothing is left for me to look at and remember, it all now lays in an unreliable memory of mine...
I once rode with a taxi driver who had a very good point to discuss, he asked me why do we artists always paint things the usual way, why do we use the old techniques, why is that our subjects are very limited, although life is in minute by minute change, and is now filled with many new routines and ideas...
The reason he thought was that we as people are always looking behind us, and that we are too much of chickens to face forward and see the truth, ugly it is or not, were too afraid even to find out if it’s really ugly or is it just an illusion... "Al boka2 3al atlal" this is how he called it, he said that he’s sick and tired of praising what we did in the past our great achievements, the pyramids, the pharos...
what bothers him most is that even those things we r holding on to so tight, we failed to really use it in the most proper way, secure it and make the best out of it!
He pity’s that we don’t allow our self the chance to experiment new things, and that we always choose the safest way!
And when i come to think of it, i might just be one of those chickens he's been talking about!
I mean, I remember the days where, for u to actually find a place where u can drink a good cup of cappuccino there was only one place for that.. "Winchell’s" near midan el ma7tta, it was the best and only place in maadi that serves coffee, and I remember they had gr8 carrot cakes as well, I can still remember their taste!
and for u to get there it was never a big deal. for u to get anywhere in maadi was never a big deal...!
sometimes I just curse the pendulum, it never stops it just keeps on moving, on and on counting, creating past u will long for, and an unapprehended future...
when I come to look back at history from the old days till this very moment, I just feel that things r meant to get worst by time.
it’s like there is something that links time with bad circumstances, like there directly proportional or something... I don’t know... im just MAD, mad at the fact that things never stay the way they are, they have to get worst, it’s like an inevitable fact you cannot escape!
Right now at this very moment I feel that my home has been raped, my memories have been slashed into pieces and nothing is left for me to look at and remember, it all now lays in an unreliable memory of mine...
I once rode with a taxi driver who had a very good point to discuss, he asked me why do we artists always paint things the usual way, why do we use the old techniques, why is that our subjects are very limited, although life is in minute by minute change, and is now filled with many new routines and ideas...
The reason he thought was that we as people are always looking behind us, and that we are too much of chickens to face forward and see the truth, ugly it is or not, were too afraid even to find out if it’s really ugly or is it just an illusion... "Al boka2 3al atlal" this is how he called it, he said that he’s sick and tired of praising what we did in the past our great achievements, the pyramids, the pharos...
what bothers him most is that even those things we r holding on to so tight, we failed to really use it in the most proper way, secure it and make the best out of it!
He pity’s that we don’t allow our self the chance to experiment new things, and that we always choose the safest way!
And when i come to think of it, i might just be one of those chickens he's been talking about!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Did they get you to trade cold comfort for change!
On the way to Alex.
Hector Lavoe playing and the winds and sands are storming.
The air is yellow with no horizons to gaze at.
Maltesers.
Water.
Alex toll gate. El max. Cheering fans. Mad car horns. Sarcastic laughs.
Club gate. Wave of people, moving by tidal energy not at all kinetic!
Squish squash till u get the feeling ur ribs are about to break.
No seats. Running around. Chaos.
PEOPLE!, Amazing vocabulary, funny comments, funny reactions (over reactions).
LIBB kteer, wf afaya!
There was a family of 4 members mom, dad, son & daughter sitting right behind me, they made a phone call to "el7agga" apologising for not being able to take her to this match and promising that they will take her to the upcoming match next Friday.
Father: "Alo! aiwa ya 7agga, msh oltelk ha2aflek 3nd el bab 4:30... mashofteneesh! tyb negebolek nadara b2a b2a... wala tezz3ali nafsek, hanakhdooki el mutch eg- gay aiwa.. aiwa.. match el olembi el gom3a el gaya dahyn, mashi ya 7agga alfsalama m3 el salama!" (7asessoni wakhdenha film l sit faten law mo2khza 7amama, 3ala ra2ui shkhseya lawlabeya shoftaha mara!)
Son: "baba baba, hat libb.. baba baba hat libb, fen el libb!"
Father: "el libb f shntet mama" (radd b3d malwad galo gafaf).
(baba da b2a 7angarto 3’ir adameya belmara, akeno 3azra2eel beytklm.. 3azra2eel yemekn 27n meno kaman! 7angara stereo turbo sama3t dolby soot mogasam tholathy el ab3ad momeet! tab nefsi a3raf.. law el ragel da za32 tyb hayb2a eh el mawqeff! akeed haytakhed gona7 :S)
w mama b2a zai Amina bzbt bas namoozag sanat 2009.
shyala el 3asayer w jacketat el 3eyal wel libb tab3an, w wade7 gedan enaha msh fahma 2ayotoha 7ga men el hya betetfarag 3aleh, w rasma ebtesamet ed3a2 el sa3ada 3ala shafaterha w a3da...!
el walad b2a haga keda bt3 12 13 sana.
rakhamet el sobyan na27a 3aleh.. w mn el wade7 eno metrabi 3ala eno "ELWALAD"!
wel walad 27sn men el bent, w khod balak men okhtak, wenta ragel el beit w abook msh mawgood wen mafeesh welad te3ayat, wel khayaba di kolaha!
wel bent nesmet el 2a3da masm3telhash 7ess 3ier marten w kanet btes2al 3al libb bardo! :S
amma b2a el kan 2a3ed gambi fahowa hosalet el hosala, lesan bakabort, w 3amelli feeha el 7ema2ui awi... khosara wallahi el wad kan 7eleiwa!
el mohem eno b3d da kollo et3'alabna 2/1... :( (match el zamalek w 7aras el hodood)
ro7na seagull kan fi talat zabayn w e7na rabe3hom...
(bck to english)
The food was great, after finishing, i took a tour around the place, my god that place is one of my favorite places... it is anything but boring!
you’re surrounded with old antiques.
Everything is old and has a history, i don’t know why i have a thing for anything old, valuable or not i just love old things, and somehow there’s a certain smell u can sense in all old things, a common smell they carry...
i stood by the sea, the sound of the waves were so powerful.
the sound of greatness.
i don’t know how can u love something so much and yet can’t fully surrender to it, how can you love something so much indulge in it when calm and yet cannot accept its rage... maybe it all depends on how u define love in the end!
i had an amazing conversation with a beautiful red green blue parrot, when i started talking with the monkey i guess he felt jealous and started grabbing my attention by holding his metal plate by his beak and tapping it on surrounding metal... i guess he’s a he i didn’t get to know his name, and i really can’t wait to go back and meet him. :)
on the way back to Cairo dad and i were dead sleepy, so i thought i'd play some of our favorite music to wake us up a little... we sang on pink floyd wish you were here, reo speed wagon keep on living u and more from the same album, it was nice coz all these songs have memories with me and dad, he was the one who used to play them for me, and hearing them yesterday after such a long time was gr8 specially that i was able to remember all the tunes clearly, it’s like they’ve been carved inside me since childhood...
we then stopped for a coffee, we needed something that would wake us up a little (chemical this time!)
it did! but after i arrived home and it was actually time to go to bed :D i was unbelievably hyper!
my mom was pulling her hair off!
yeh it was a special day indeed :)
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here
Pink Floyd- wish you were here
Hector Lavoe playing and the winds and sands are storming.
The air is yellow with no horizons to gaze at.
Maltesers.
Water.
Alex toll gate. El max. Cheering fans. Mad car horns. Sarcastic laughs.
Club gate. Wave of people, moving by tidal energy not at all kinetic!
Squish squash till u get the feeling ur ribs are about to break.
No seats. Running around. Chaos.
PEOPLE!, Amazing vocabulary, funny comments, funny reactions (over reactions).
LIBB kteer, wf afaya!
There was a family of 4 members mom, dad, son & daughter sitting right behind me, they made a phone call to "el7agga" apologising for not being able to take her to this match and promising that they will take her to the upcoming match next Friday.
Father: "Alo! aiwa ya 7agga, msh oltelk ha2aflek 3nd el bab 4:30... mashofteneesh! tyb negebolek nadara b2a b2a... wala tezz3ali nafsek, hanakhdooki el mutch eg- gay aiwa.. aiwa.. match el olembi el gom3a el gaya dahyn, mashi ya 7agga alfsalama m3 el salama!" (7asessoni wakhdenha film l sit faten law mo2khza 7amama, 3ala ra2ui shkhseya lawlabeya shoftaha mara!)
Son: "baba baba, hat libb.. baba baba hat libb, fen el libb!"
Father: "el libb f shntet mama" (radd b3d malwad galo gafaf).
(baba da b2a 7angarto 3’ir adameya belmara, akeno 3azra2eel beytklm.. 3azra2eel yemekn 27n meno kaman! 7angara stereo turbo sama3t dolby soot mogasam tholathy el ab3ad momeet! tab nefsi a3raf.. law el ragel da za32 tyb hayb2a eh el mawqeff! akeed haytakhed gona7 :S)
w mama b2a zai Amina bzbt bas namoozag sanat 2009.
shyala el 3asayer w jacketat el 3eyal wel libb tab3an, w wade7 gedan enaha msh fahma 2ayotoha 7ga men el hya betetfarag 3aleh, w rasma ebtesamet ed3a2 el sa3ada 3ala shafaterha w a3da...!
el walad b2a haga keda bt3 12 13 sana.
rakhamet el sobyan na27a 3aleh.. w mn el wade7 eno metrabi 3ala eno "ELWALAD"!
wel walad 27sn men el bent, w khod balak men okhtak, wenta ragel el beit w abook msh mawgood wen mafeesh welad te3ayat, wel khayaba di kolaha!
wel bent nesmet el 2a3da masm3telhash 7ess 3ier marten w kanet btes2al 3al libb bardo! :S
amma b2a el kan 2a3ed gambi fahowa hosalet el hosala, lesan bakabort, w 3amelli feeha el 7ema2ui awi... khosara wallahi el wad kan 7eleiwa!
el mohem eno b3d da kollo et3'alabna 2/1... :( (match el zamalek w 7aras el hodood)
ro7na seagull kan fi talat zabayn w e7na rabe3hom...
(bck to english)
The food was great, after finishing, i took a tour around the place, my god that place is one of my favorite places... it is anything but boring!
you’re surrounded with old antiques.
Everything is old and has a history, i don’t know why i have a thing for anything old, valuable or not i just love old things, and somehow there’s a certain smell u can sense in all old things, a common smell they carry...
i stood by the sea, the sound of the waves were so powerful.
the sound of greatness.
i don’t know how can u love something so much and yet can’t fully surrender to it, how can you love something so much indulge in it when calm and yet cannot accept its rage... maybe it all depends on how u define love in the end!
i had an amazing conversation with a beautiful red green blue parrot, when i started talking with the monkey i guess he felt jealous and started grabbing my attention by holding his metal plate by his beak and tapping it on surrounding metal... i guess he’s a he i didn’t get to know his name, and i really can’t wait to go back and meet him. :)
on the way back to Cairo dad and i were dead sleepy, so i thought i'd play some of our favorite music to wake us up a little... we sang on pink floyd wish you were here, reo speed wagon keep on living u and more from the same album, it was nice coz all these songs have memories with me and dad, he was the one who used to play them for me, and hearing them yesterday after such a long time was gr8 specially that i was able to remember all the tunes clearly, it’s like they’ve been carved inside me since childhood...
we then stopped for a coffee, we needed something that would wake us up a little (chemical this time!)
it did! but after i arrived home and it was actually time to go to bed :D i was unbelievably hyper!
my mom was pulling her hair off!
yeh it was a special day indeed :)
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here
Pink Floyd- wish you were here
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Change
I woke up on the sound of my window banging several times in a slow motion...
The wind is strong today and apparently the temps r going back to normal.
Im heading to Alex after a few mins., im going to spend the day there with my pa, hes willing to attend a match (i dont know who against i dont know what!).
but personaly the fact alone that im there is just soothing.
I was supposed to go to the Nagham masri concert today with El cindbind and Hassan, but when u come to think of it how many times will u go attend a match in alex! :))
Nagham masri r always there, one smart thing i learned in my still getting started life, is never miss an opportunity for change.. im in the mood for change.
I took my little sketch book with me, just incase...
Somthing tells me that today is special.
The wind is strong today and apparently the temps r going back to normal.
Im heading to Alex after a few mins., im going to spend the day there with my pa, hes willing to attend a match (i dont know who against i dont know what!).
but personaly the fact alone that im there is just soothing.
I was supposed to go to the Nagham masri concert today with El cindbind and Hassan, but when u come to think of it how many times will u go attend a match in alex! :))
Nagham masri r always there, one smart thing i learned in my still getting started life, is never miss an opportunity for change.. im in the mood for change.
I took my little sketch book with me, just incase...
Somthing tells me that today is special.
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